Decision & Fear...

I hate growing up but that's life. It's sucks. Adult's life are full with decision making. n Now I'm in a situation of making an important decision in my life... that's been bugging me for quite a while.

2 offers. 2 Golden Opportunity. 2 different World.

haiz.......................

No one would ever understand, the headache, the thousand of heavy considerations, the fear that even fetched me nightmares, the importance of this shit, the pressure I'm facing right now.

who will?

What if I make the wrong decision?

What if I ends up with nothing at all?

what if that's not what I want?

what if I regret my choice?

What ifs? What ifs? and more what if's?

Finally exploded and cry today. and Thank god, I have you.

My situation right now really make me think of a poem I learnt during literature class back in Form 3;

The road not taken by Robert Frost.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Hope I'll be able to make the right choice........

Hope i'll be strong enough,

God Bless me and us please,

Meanwhile,  Happy Wesak Day to all !

The Goodbye that I wish I've never have to say...

Time flies. They really do. 4 years back, I was still a 17 year old girl trying to adjust into college life. Now, 4 years after, I’m a girl who is afraid but will soon need to struggle and fit into the working life of an adult.  

Do you ever have the ‘afraid’ and ‘worry’ feelings of all this changes in your life? I shouldn’t be the only one. I guess.

4 more weeks. I’ll be officially out of college. The thought was scary isn’t it? 

4 years in college wasn’t all on a bed of roses. Many ups and down, torns and roses. However looking back, the memory was sweet one and the 4 years in college was definitely  the best year in my life so far.

I’m not going to brag into details because writing this much is already make myself drowning with tears.

However, I’m so gonna highlight few most influential people in my life that were met throughout the 4 years in college. Soon we’re  gonna say our good byes. Some, I bet we’re not gonna have the chance to meet for a long time.  No matter how much we wanted to stick together, life just wouldn’t allow.  There were times we quarrel, there were times we really enjoyed, that's what we called friendship and u guys really made up my beautiful college years ;

Shou yan, My best-friend of 4 years ( 4 years, but I feel we have knew each other for ages)  -

P/S : I’m waiting for your post about me and you,  be kind, don’t make me cry please. I’ll write one about us real soon too. ^^

Alex, My naughtiest pet brother ever. How I wish I really have you as my real little brother.

P/S : You always know what i'm thinking or how I feel even when myself can't express out the feelings. I really missed the time the 4 libra hangs out together tho, n I will never ever forget the 21st fairy tales birthday u’ve given me together with syan n ber. 

 Amber, The best friend of 2 years that came and made us S.A.Rs.

P/S ; ber, u might not have as much as what me n syan went thru together, but I’ve really felt u came right into our lives and u create a memory more than a 2 year friend could do. btw, How I wish u were really my aunty hahaha..*wink* wink*

KC, The psycho fren and new pet brother

P/S : kc, we may not hang out much, but we chatted a lot. Thank you for all the understanding and support during the hard times. what we’ve been through shall be a memory that remains to both of us.

Adrian – My Pool Sifu

P/S ; I know how much u missed all-libra-gang times… so do I, my fren =) btw, there must be at least one pool game before graduate, alrite?

 Last  but not least, Kiver

My current boyfie of 2 years  and 22 days.

P/S ; Dear,  You’ve really changed my life in a way no one ever does before. Theres so many ‘hopefully’ I wanna wish for kivnelle here but its better I just keep it inside for only both of us. Ask me if u wanna know.

Okay okay…….

My blog is getting wetter. I’ve  Been a goldfish for a continuous 3 weeks already. Got to change topic first,

Today was Mother’s Day…Happy Mother's Day to all the mummy in the world ~~~

So yesterday I’ve decided to make cup cakes for mummy together with Kiv.

mixing the ingredient for the kiwi fruit cupcakes ^^

Inside the oven....

Freshly baked from the oven..look so cute like mushroom

After trimming ~~~

Time to whipped the cream...but whisked too long, the cream split ='( Kiver's Fault... hahaha!

Trying to pipe the letter but it was so difficult due to the cream texture....='(

Finally ......ta da ~~~ kiwi fruit cup cakes ^^ eventhough was not really succesful for the cream/topping part.. but it was yummy n not bad lar for first time ....hahaha =)

btw, actually wanted to write alphabet on it and gave it as a suprised to  Syan, Amber, Alex, Wai Jun, Zhao Min, Daniel and jian chong too... but due to the cream...unable to make it... sorry guys

anyway, I gave it to my mum last nite at 12.00 am and surprisingly she were so happy that she take and show off around. Been giving her cards, jewelry, flowers or etc etc last time but never c her so happy like this…Hahahahaha… seeing how she re-act, I was so happy too. ^^

Theres so many un-posted random outing yet. I’ll keep it for the next post tho.

By the way, have u guys watched IP Man? If not please do so!!!! It’s great. Movie marathon with my friend on the same day watching both IP Man and Iron Man, n so of course ---IP Man was definitely better.

Just a temporary 'free'

I AM EXTREMELY BORED! Weird…from the  beginning of the year till now, this is actually the first time I actually said I’m extremely bored and did not know what to do???.. This must be a joke!

Anyway, this ‘free-time’ wouldn’t last long… Assignment about to pour in again, very SOON.  Internship is giving me a BIG HEADACHE yet I kept running away from it. I need to face it soon.real soon. Where will I ended up be. I wonder.

Anyway Good news is I DONE!!!!!!!! I DONE MY DISSERTATION LIKE FINALLY… pending from last year end… finally it’s done and safely printed out on last Thursday. But submission next Monday.. wooo hooo.. at least I’m not at the very last minute you see…

A super costly 3 copies of my Dissertation... 'thanks' to Taylor's University College.... am so broke that day!

Gosh, I fall sick again..T.T continuously 2 Saturday in a row. Last Sat food poisoning, this Saturday , Flu but  thank god, it was a minor flu… took some medic, getting better now…

By the way, I wanted to go n sleep now actually but don’t feel like it…Dear still busy doing his dissertation. Wanted to wait for him coz it’s weird if I sleep without the Good Night calls. *shy*

Arghhh sucky connection In Klang…PPS is freaking slow, I can’t catch my current faves drama, Scheme of a Beauty.

So, hmm let see… whoa..Damn a lot of photos accumulated for the past few weeks. .. Guess I’m just gonna blog some of it. Randomly~~~~~

Last Sunday, 18th of April 2010 was our 2 years Anniversary. Just spend a whole-simple- lovely- day together without worrying about dissertation ^^. *Happy*Bliss*

Dear picked me up from my house, and suprised me with a bouquet of 2 Easter Lily, to mark our 2 years!

was extremely in-love with it............*pretty*

Then, I requested to go for shopping coz I need to get a bag for my notes >.< n on a sunday, the crowd was extremely crazy tho. That was y I always escape weekend shopping. exception for Sunday the 18th hehe...

Look, when v have brunch at Old Town, v have to cramed ourself into such a small place ; n dear hav to hold my baby vaio on his lap in order to purchased the online-ticket. weekend-blues..but no complain.. =)

Then v exchange gift, tho v said we're not gonna buy any gifts this time around...... n co-incidently both were the things we both wanted  n been searching for it....

He got me this special Elite Custom Made Casing of  250gb  Hard Disk from i-Smart... love the casing so much!! imagine I don't even know what is this at first.....LOLX...

I love it so much ..always wanted to buy a hard disk but never really go and buy it..coz for me I will rather spend on clothing, bags, accessories etc... then on techno gadget.  tho I really needed this like so badly.... everywhere out of memory already, thanks to extreme cam-whore ! tee-hee.. ^^

so convenience coz it's built in.... damn creative....

n he also get me a new  cooling fan for my baby Vaio... can't believe I'm so outdated..like living in a nutshell.... I just realised, nowadays the cooling fan actually came with extra USB port for pen drive etc....owhh.. I'm so outdated!

I get him the 2 wine books that he'd been searching for it... and co-incidently I found it just a day before our Anniversary..^^

n since it's a book, so I wrapped it like a post-parcel...+ with a hand made tag... hahaha! n that's the first time I wrote his name  in chinese... I know it looks like cartoon. Don't laugh. What to do, I'm a banana.

Next, we went to Mr.Teppanyaki for Dinner. and I happily segregate all the sesame out... one by one...XD

Then we went n watched How to Train your Dragon, It was extremely GOOOOOD !!! A must watch, and u'll love toothless for sure!

Then v sealed our day with my favourites carrot cupcakes..^^

Happy 2 years Old, Kivnelle!

Syan, Kiv, Adrian and me went to have lunch at Tarragon to support our Junior for their final exam....  Diploma's memories reflash in our mind..~~~

Main Course; Chicken something something... & forgotten* ahaha

Starter ; Spinach Tart.                                          Dessert; Marble Cheese Slice

Guess what, I saw my TIS published in the Taylor's Library collection!!! woots ^^  thanks to syan who showed it to me ...=)

Steamboat buffet with syan, nic, vee vian n kiv..someday before sem break.

Finally we re-visit Woo Ga Chon after few years..... It was still there in Sunway Mentari. ^^

The lunch set was still as yummmy as ever... n added with more dishes... yummyness!

babes, darlings, n chakas. haha!

cam-whore with my faves J'adore Paris tee.... love the  heart shape.

One of the many uncountable times at our favourites Snowflakes.. *yum yum*

at the Street cafe for another korean food session after the movie, Clash of the Titan with Vee vian, nic and kiv.

Clash of the Titans was nice for me despite many who argue that it was bad. Just don't compare with the original one or the story book, then it will be nice. trust me.

cam-whore after I cut my hair last saturday.   N this is the campus dress code pasted on every classroom's door.. gosh.. wat a pathetic student's life.

Haha posernya.... wanted to be the beauty queen in Astro Wah Lai Toi 

Dessert Bar at Taylors. SYAN N AMBER......I bet u guys didn't know, I took this photo.. haha...

wrapped with chicken something something and mushroom..forget yet again.. coz its just too randomly.. haha......btw, like the sauce=)

Oh ya, theres this sushi-adventurous-tale that must be told...

I was so craving for sushi coz I have nt eaten one since I came back from the france trip. So, I was with Alex and kiv. We went to Sakae Sushi on friday....

Guess what, look at the screen.. almost every dishes with salmon was out of stock.. What the!!.. A sushi restaurant that sells no salmon??  n its' not the first time this same outlet had the same probs...

Look at them...  salmon lovers but no salmon for them... tres emo nyer...haha XD

So we ate whatever we already ordered and left for Sushi Zanmai.... n look wat happened at Zanmai...

Que up for more than half and hour!!!!!... wonder what was so special with last friday.?? I'd Been here coutless time, but never have to que up... hmm... Sushi day? Japan's  independence day? I doubt it.

Bro... emo-nyer... haha too bad Zhao Min not there.. if not muaks muaks him, sure okay de.. XD

Then bro left after awhile cause he have to fetch her sister home... sad ><

Some of the things we ordered ~~

Our Unagi Inari

His,  Large Curry Chicken Don

Our Salmon Golden Roll, extremely yummylicious!!

My Small Kakiage Ramen

Anyway, despite the wait..... we had a good meal at Zanmai after all. Ordered too much coz was too hungry at first, almost can't finish up those things we ordered.

Taken today before the pineapple was plucked... in my house at Klang. Mum purposely waited for me to come back to pluck it.. coz she knew I never harvest a real pineapple before.. but I fail in harvesting it tho, coz I was so afraid of the torn, I gave up...

btw, It's time for bed now, Good nite toodles!

P/S : oh ya, in one of my blog's  comment, there is  someone who commented that my blog was useful for his/her dissertation research..Thanks babe/chap   Anyway, ..I’m still curious on your dissertation's  topic tho, seems interesting do let me know, if u drop by again alrites?  =)

Earth Hour Romance

Saturday 28th Mac 2010, 8.30-9.30pm was declared and publicize widely as the Earth Hour. So I did my part to save the earth. My initial plan was to go out with Kiv and just hanging out at 1utama ( so, I’m not switching on or using any light u see. Hahaha.)

Anyway, Kiv surprised me with a Romantic Candlelight Dinner at Home. This plan was suppose for Valentine this year but unfortunately or ‘Fortunately’ it falls on the 1st day of CNY.  So well, plan was delayed. So, y self cook meal? Coz I wanted something different. Almost 2 years with him, every occasion we celebrate (His & Mine B’day, Valentine,  Anniversary, Christmas etv etc..) in restaurants. This year I wanted something different. So, I cheekily told him I would prefer him for something like this..XD.. well yea finally....

So, ta dahhhhh...

Yea, candle light dinner can’t be without privacy right? Both our homes have someone around. So, we went over to service apartment. 

He start cooking around 6.30pm. I just sit back and facebooking ( i did offered my help but he refuse totaly.. ^^)

Saint Emilion 2007 that he brought back all the way from France. A very woody light bodied wine.

Then sharp at about 8.40pm, we switch off the lights, and turn our timer on to one hour later.

Lavender Scented Candle. Nice ~~

Hot Italian Sausages and Pan Sear Chicken  stuffed with Cheese & Mushroom with Thyme Mashed Potato and Sauteed Fresh Shitake. 

Honestly, it's yummylicious ^^

and we really did turn off the lights.....for an hour...

Cappucino Cheese from Dr.Pastry. Extreme Yummyness.. Love!

another surprise of my favourites....beautiful~~~

In 2 weeks time, We will turn 2!...Can’t believe huh? Neither do I.

How much I avoided and hated him before this... hahahahhaha

Pretty Pink Roses

Everything by a Sudden

Sigh...

Sometimes, I Hate being a women coz out of a sudden I feel so emotional, so down.

Without a reason. Am I abnormal? Or PMS syndrome?

Suddenly lots of thought and worries. Worries of what if, what if and what if.

Am I doing the right thing for dissertation?

Where will I be in July when Intern Start?

Is working life really sux?

Will ....?

Etc.

Etc..

Etc...

A small brain but so much worries.

I hate growing up.

How good if Dear is not sleeping right now. I can ring him up and pour out my emotion.

But it’s also a good thing that he was sleeping coz if not he sure say I’m being silly again. >.<”

Accidently, I ran into a blog that happens to be the girlfriend of my friend. One of her post resembles everything I felt. Reading her blog brought me to tears. But I felt relieve coz I’m a normal girl after all.

STOP! RENELLE. STOP!

Ok, well when I Emo I blog and it always make me feel much better. Like now.  

I love looking back at all the photos of France trip. I miss the 2 weeks time a LOT. Friends, Snows, Shopping, Him, the temperature, food, and basically everything over the 2 weeks there. If only time can stop. Ya then I won’t be writing this right now.

Oh ya,  while I was looking over the photos in France, just out of a sudden today, I find that I really like this Art work of Robert Doisneau.  The same photos that came out in our Advance French Exam. Who requires us to write a short essay about this photo.

So I did some research about the art and found out it was actually called Le Baiser de l'Hotel de Ville, Paris, 1950. And on the net, I came across the cheapest one selling for $114.99!! arghh regret , Y didn’t I buy it in France, there it cost only 20Euro! Y the sudden interest, likeness and curiousity for the photo comes now, not then ?

Too late. It's alrite. Then, this photo will be my piece of art ..... hahaha!

This was 2 camwhore pic before movies in sunway & going up to Genting Highland on Monday. and as you can see, my luggage are still half way unpacking...

Dear saw this and show it to me.. Muahhaahahaha... I like it! Hmm and wonder when will dear  guai guai bow to me like that .....hahahahaah joking!

Yesterday when out with bunch of buddies ( Syan, Nic, Kiv ). We watched

Alice in Wonderland

It was okay. Not as great as expected but it was nice. N I love the song Alice by Avril Lavigne.

Dinner time Vee Vian came and join us. We went  to Umami House for Steamboat Buffet.  They tried to copy Jogoya style for the BBQ buffet counter. Food was seriously bad for us coz we don’t find any food that was consider yummy for us.  Except, only for the ice cream. My favourite was the Oreo ice cream.  That’s all.

The Interior of Umami.

(There’s  another pics with all 5 of us.... but in dear's handphone.. update that soon)